i miss you so much,your in my thoughts all the time, i cant believe it has gone by so quickly. I dreamt you were in ur own limbo, living in a boarded up house with beauty your dog, you couldnt come to terms with the fact you had died, oh my god dad i hope that isnt true! i want you flying with the angels, i want you to spread your wings. I want you to be in the brightest star and winking at us all. I dont want you to hurt no more. I was holding your hand to the very end, i didnt let go and i wont now Dad. I will always love you. I longed to be in your life for so long when i was a kid, when we did finally get into the father daughter relationship we werent together very long, but on my god, did i love you. you were the world to me. You were so very special to all of us. Lifes not the same with out you here, i miss your dirty jokes, i miss your phone call christmas morning asking how the kids are and if santa was kind to them! I miss my birthday cards, but i have all those you bought me, i put them up, but at the moment i cant bare to look at them yet.I just wish you were here! The girls miss you terribly!. Dad i adore you and always will. I hope you have found peace and your not in limbo. You suffered so much when you were dying of cancer, i want you to be happy where you are now, i want you to come back for me when its my turn to die. I dont want to be on my own when that happens! I wish you could hold my hand like i held yours. And if you have to relive your life again to get things right that you previously got wrong, please keep me, dont let audrey take me away from you. I longed to be with you and we missed so many years, i just wanted to be with my dad. Please dont leave me behind, take me with you. I promise things will be different, i promise i will be good and go to school. but please dont leave me behind, they ruined my entire life, i know i will be happy with you. I was happy and never happier when i was spending time with you. even when i was a mum myself, i loved spending time with you. It made me so happy. I am so proud to be your daughter. I love you very very much.