Oh Dad I long to hear your voice again. I long for that dirty joke in a text, or you telling me to ring you after emmerdale or coranation street has finished, i had already written out your christmas present tags, i cant bare to throw them away.I go on day by day, but lots of things remind me of you. Just playing with the dogs, i can hear you saying, hello woofers! I remember your Laverick high visability jacket, and that day you came to visit me and Bernie in a digger, and we were not in, we had gone to get the kids their school shoes after the summer holiday break, you posted a little note through the door saying I thought you never went out!...that was always the osborne's luck, if not for bad luck we wouldnt have any luck at all....oh Dad i just wish you were here, even for one more minute, i long to cuddle you. I look at your picture every time i am in bed, you were so handsome and really funny. Your hands were massive, but so was your heart. I am so very proud you are my Dad. No one else could have a Dad like i have. I still have you Dad, even though your gone, i just still feel your here with us. I still hear you saying stop crying!But I am so sorry i just cant stop, i feel lost without you, even if we only chatted on the phone once a week, and only saw each other when you were not working on that weekend. You were always busy, but you still came to see us when you could. Dad please be with me at my wedding, i wanted you so much to be there, but it was just too late. Thats our bad luck hitting us again Dad. I feel like a baby again, not being able to see my Dad. but this time i know you cant see me either even if you wanted too. One day no-one will be in our way to cuddle each other. One day all this pain will go away and i will be with you again. I need a hug!I dont know how people carry on with this hurt and pain and the what if's....its so hard. Every day is a struggle, and trying to hide the pain from everyone else is an art form! I cuddle the dogs and they know i am hurting, they look at me with them puppy dog eyes to say its ok, its ok to hurt. Oh my god, i am going mental without you. You mean so much to me, to everyone, the kids miss you so so much. Bernard kissed you on your head at the chapel of rest, can you remember at hospital on tuesday before you died, i kissed you to say goodbye and Bernie said I wont kiss you, but it wont be long before your out of here and helping me take down that kitchen ceiling! well he got to kiss your head. You couldnt stop him then!! Hope you can read this, all in cyber space, maybe thats how your energy gets around, who knows! Dad i miss you very much.