Dad you were so wrong, i am finding it too hard without you, even just hearing your voice over the phone once a week, asking me how i am and the kids. Whats worse is I am getting married on the 3rd of December and you cant be there with me, i dont even know if you are energy around me or not, i dont feel you close to me. I am feeling so sad and so angry your gone, why do some people survive cancer and some people die? I thought you were such a strong person, and to trust that woman was a wrong decision, she hasnt listened to any of your wishes, not one has been done, and that has made me really angry, we all knew what you wanted to happen, not one thing has been done, i hope you can see how much we tried to do what you wanted, oh my god, i miss you so very very much.Words cant say how much.Toni is always thinking of you, i am glad they all got to see you in the chapel of rest. It gave them time to say their own farewells. I am glad i got your lock of hair. thats for me, something so precious, something of you no one can take away from me. I just wish you could show me your here with me, something, just sign something anything so i know your here with us.